LONG POST WARNING
(scroll to the bottom to skip the story & cut to the ‘good stuff’)
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I consider the moment the website went up on Sunday 6th June 2010 as the moment Life By Soul™ was born. After years of doing Astrology, Numerology, and Tarot Card reading as hobbies; and after years of friends telling me that I should do those hobbies as a profession, I finally doubled down and started my practice.

Yet that’s not where this story begins.

This story begins with a comfortable and blessed childhood, yet also very protected from the darkness of the world; struggling throughout my 20s to adapt to those dark realities of our society and its harshness; followed by 3 years of feeling emotionally abandoned after my father’s passing; followed by 3 years of emotional, spiritual, and psychological darkness in my early 30s while dealing with and overcoming major physical health issues and severe depression; followed by 4 more years of recognizing just how far I had strayed away from my True self and experiencing more depression; followed by 6 more years of taking steps to reclaim my True self and gradually pulling myself out of depression… but it hasn’t been easy… and I’m certainly not “done”.

But here I am.

Life By Soul™ was created during the 4 years of recognizing just how far I had strayed away from my True self. It may be the most beautiful thing that emerged from that time of darkness – something that has kept me going through these last few years, experiencing what it feels like to have what comes through me contribute positively to the lives of others in some way. The tagline and mission statement for Life By Soul™ – “live your life by your Soul’s unique design” – has been something I’ve encouraged and helped manifest in others, yet I can now admit I still have yet to embody within myself and my own life. I think my hypocrisy with it all is part of the reason I’ve been so hesitant to move Life By Soul™ into its next phase of growth.

Because if Life By Soul™ grows, I won’t be able to hide myself anymore.

Life By Soul™ has existed for nine years today, and I’ve admittedly been terrified of its next phase of growth because it demands that I come further out of hiding on all fronts. I don’t get to hide behind the keyboard anymore. I don’t get to hide behind simple graphics, daily transit posts, and long blog articles of the LBS social media pages. I don’t get to play small in my business anymore… or in my life as a whole.

So why do I want to hide?

Throughout my younger years, I’d been conditioned to “fit in”. As a child, I was encouraged to “be exceptional” (with my intelligence, grades, and character), but simultaneously instructed to “have some humility”, “don’t be a showoff”, “tone it down” (a.k.a. – “don’t stand out so much”). Despite the comfortable material conditions, I didn’t have much emotional support as a child, and things were rarely discussed at length or in depth, so I was left to interpret these mixed messages on my own. It resulted in my chronically playing myself down so that I could fit in and “be more normal”. I became dishonest with others in how I presented myself so they would be more comfortable with me. As result, I made it a habit of betraying my unique self-expression and compromising my ability to trust myself in making choices for my life’s journey.

Though I’ve done a LOT of work to overcome the beliefs and behavior patterns that came with my twisted interpretation of the guidance I was given as a child, the remnants still rear their ugly heads when I’m embarking in new directions of artistic and/or intellectual self-expression.

My need to share what I have to offer the world has grown, and my determination to do that sharing without allowing myself to be seen has grown as well. My inclination to hide has been getting the better of me, especially where Life By Soul™ is concerned. Since 2016, more and more clients and students have been asking for video and online/webinar offerings… and I’ve been terrified. I’ve always hated being on camera and being seen because on some level of my consciousness, I knew I wouldn’t be giving people my authentic self – I would be presenting myself as a fraud.

But rather than on camera, my fraudulence revealed itself in other ways.

Instead, I’ve grossly over-promised and under-delivered over recent years when it comes to the offerings I am developing. I’ve pre-launched and badly-launched new programs, new books, and new opportunities; and I’ve left projects and programs incomplete or unfinished while leaving quite a few people hanging waiting for them, all while I figured out how to get everything creatively back on track. It’s been a bad habit of mine, and it’s a horrible way to live one’s life let alone run a business, leaving this huge collection of unfinished projects and unfulfilled expectations abandoned behind me. I’ve been running on the credit of character and resource, and its ethical and emotional debt has become too much for me to bear. I’m now changing how I operate my business, and that change starts by transforming how I live my life.

Recent internal work has helped me stop making so many promises about what’s coming, and focus my energy on the reality of where I am now and how to get things done with what I’ve got.

To that point, I was intending to launch the Life by Soul™ Patreon channel today, Thursday 6th June 2019. It’s not ready, and probably won’t be ready for a few more weeks. I also intended to reactivate the beta group for my first online coursetoday, but it, too, is still in creative process. These official launches, along with the launches of other Life By Soul programs and offerings, will be announced when they are ready to debut. For all of you who have been with me for a while, please know that everything that has been promised before now is in the works – it is coming. It’s just taking far more time to get over myself and complete the creative process than I ever expected.

I’m now realizing and reclaiming all of the pieces of my True self that I abandoned throughout my journey and have led to the compromise of my integrity and trustworthiness. It hasn’t been easy, and I’ve needed more time than I thought I would to work through all that has kept me from picking up my pieces and putting myself back together again before now

 I’ve been largely inspired by a few 20-somethings in recent months. They’ve inspired me with their artistic and creative brilliance and autonomy, some more than others refusing to do things the way everyone before them has done. They are changing the world – internally and externally – one song, painting, performance, photograph, or interview at a time; speaking and sharing their truths through their honest and earnest words and images.

Inspired and illuminated by them, I found my own artistry, creativity, and athleticism waking up again, yet I was also finding myself at a loss for how to proceed as I’m not in my mid-20s anymore. The world doesn’t easily support the rebirth of one’s youth in their 40s, 50s, 60s, so I’m quickly learning that if anything new and different is going to happen in my life and my business, I get to forge this path for myself and emotionally support myself. Making adjustments to how Life By Soul™ works has become mandatory as I want to continue to serve all of you, yet I also get to support my personal and professional renaissance.

So… video and online courses are finally coming. The first one – a “hello” vid – will be up soon, and it’s a big deal for me because it’s the first one I’ve shot and edited and actually made public.

Slowly but surely, there will be more to come. You’ll not only get the contents of my head regarding astrology, numerology, and Tarot reading. You’ll also be getting more of how these practices can help you make sense of yourself and the world we are living in right now, in real time, as it really is. And you’ll be learning more about me as a person, joining me on these next chapters of my personal life journey as a black woman in her 40s creating a new experience of my life in alignment with my Soul’s unique design.

Life By Soul™ will still be based in San Jose for the time being, but I’ve given up trying to find a place to live that I can afford on my current income level in favor of a choice to travel more. My ‘stuff’ will be stored at my mother’s house in the East Bay, and I’ll be becoming more of a residential nomad, embracing my soul’s design (Sagittarius Sun in 4th House) to have my home be where my heart is, and my heart wherever my physical body is at any given time. The intention is to be at home within myself rather than looking for home outside of myself. I’ll still be able to meet some of you for in-person sessions on occasion, but assume that your sessions will be done by phone or Zoom simply because I’ll be out and about in the world. Literally.

Thank you for indulging me by reading this unexpectedly confessional update. I hope you’ll continue to follow Life By Soul™ into the next phase of its growth. It may be taking longer than expected or intended, but I intend to make it worth the wait. Thank you for your patience and support.

With Light, Love, and many blessings to you…
~ Grace

(BTW, use coupon code BIRTHDAY30 to receive
$30 off your booking of any single Life By Soul™ service valued at $90 or more – the code is good for 3.5 days ONLY, until 11:59p on Sunday 9th June.)