You’ve been talking about how you are going to get this or that done, and get this goal accomplished, and you’ve got this great idea…and just when you think that you’re doing good things to move your life forward, your old emotional stuff gets triggered and starts coming out of the woodwork.
Suddenly, you’re full of doubts, fears, negative self-talk, and excuses – you’re looking to escape the life that you’re creating for yourself – a life that you keep saying that you want!
What’s with the self-sabotage?
It’s simple. Your old emotional wounds are getting their scabs pulled off by the very actions you are taking to move toward that life.
A bit graphic, I know, but we discussed a couple of posts ago Chiron Retrograde in Pisces and how it has you looking inward at how you can serve and heal yourself while serving and healing others. Well, this transit of Mars in Gemini square Chiron Retrograde in Pisces (exact at 5:42p PDT on June 19th, 2013) is the first opportunity for you to find out what that means.
With Mars in Gemini involved in this particular event, you are being asked to notice how your actions that you are taking to move your thoughts and ideas forward into reality may be awakening these old memories of your emotional pain. This is because as you do things to move yourself forward, you are remembering what happened “the first time” or “the last time” you tried to do this. When those self-sabotaging thoughts and fears come up, it’s because the Universe is calling upon you to heal any wounds that have not been healed in order to release yourself from the past and move forward in earnest.
The fear you may be feeling in taking these actions is likely your fear of experiencing that old pain again. Therefore, this Mars-Chiron square gives you an opportunity to get to the source of this pain by exploring it deeply, beginning (or continuing) an honest healing journey for yourself.
This may not be something you can do alone. In fact, this may not even be something that astrology or numerology, or tarot can do for you. Even if those tools help you get an idea of what that original emotional-psychological wound may have been or give you a sense of direction to begin moving into to heal.
Some profound and life-altering things may be coming up for you. For some of you, the awareness of what is going on may be all you need to go into it, heal it, and move on from it. However, for others of you, now may be the time for you to take on your demons in partnership with someone professionally licensed and trained to assist you in healing this pain – a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist, NLP practitioner, hypnotherapist, past-life regression specialist, physical therapist, substance abuse counselor, etc. Whatever assistance you may need in order to heal this, now’s a good time to figure out what that is and to be in action to get it. Ask for it or seek it out. Do what you’ve got to do to heal.
It’s okay to ask for the help you need. There is no shame in asking for professional assistance. In fact, if anything, there is courage.
For those of you afraid to really go digging into your psyche/subconscious mind, digging in is probably exactly what you need in order to truly move on from this cycle of self-sabotage. It’s time…if you’re really ready to heal and have the life you say you want.
Mars in Gemini square Chiron Retrograde in Pisces may not be an easy transit for you. In fact, for some of you, it’s far from it. But if you are at a stage in your life where it is time to move forward and you are finding yourself about to get stuck yet again, this may be just the transit you’ve been waiting for.
And keep in mind – Sun conjuncts Jupiter in Gemini today as well. When seeking assistance, be wary of those who promise you everything or tout themselves as a one-stop shop. Seek those you have the credentials and the credibility as your best bets for healing help. Trust your instincts when making your choices (and yes – you can trust them!).
The effects of this transit can be felt June 16-23, but are strongest today for most.
Thank you for reading and sharing Signs and Numbers. Until next post…
~ Light, Love, and Blessings,
Grace
